Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
