so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize