I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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