getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
organizing the empties. That sober.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
