i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
how does that bad decision feel?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
