i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
