I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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