She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
i think i just lost a toe
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
