Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize