I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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