Already got asked if we're dating
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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