People in love make me want to vomit
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
