I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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