Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
