You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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