Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
