And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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