you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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