You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
