how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
