I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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