Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
