i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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