If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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