he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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