Non-Jews are for practice
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
