The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
