people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
How does one acquire holy water?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
