i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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