I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you would pick up someone in the library
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize