my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
