if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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