Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
