I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We left an ass print on the piano.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I have fence marks all over my body
Randomize
