btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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