you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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