Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
