I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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