Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
