Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
