WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
