Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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