Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
