whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
