Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
