Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
