never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Randomize