I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I bet he comes in French.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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