I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
