I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
i've created a new STD.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I forget how to act sober
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
