i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
