Dual....:-)
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
pray to the hookup gods
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
