I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize