I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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