On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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