I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Man, jail baloney is awful.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
