This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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