He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
