I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
