you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
