a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Randomize