your parents love me but you hate me
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Randomize
