remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
