and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
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