drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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