You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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