can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
