You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
