We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
